Just cause I'm shallow doesn't mean that I'm heartless

Could be my bike there. If I could ride one.

SOOOO
Here we go. My first exam. Pissing myself I'm so excited. At least I can do more revision the hours before I have it. It should go ok; Chemistry is one of the subjects I'm more confident in - and if I feel like I'm going to do well then hey maybe I will. I said maybe - no promises.

Anyway I don't come here to talk about work, I come here to escape from it. That's something I'd like to do - escape from things, everything - go somewhere no one knows me, there are no prior opinions and everything looks ever so slightly less disastrous. That would be good. To get away from everything, everyone - except for her maybe, I can't escape what I don't want to.

Somewhere everyone looks like death. Haha I don't know why - but wouldn't that make everything so much more, well depressing. But you know, I think I would like that, if everyone else was depressed and dying maybe I would be happier and run around and be more alive, more of person and less of a hermit? Apparently in Sweden they are like that, almost decomposing all year round until that little glimpse they get of summer for a month - when they explode out of their skins and dance like they're all on heat, well most of them probably are.

But yeah Sweden.

Sounds pretty fucking perfect to me. I love winter - I love how pale people become this odd fluorescent colour, me included; I just like feeling cleaner, summer is a messy season, winter is cleansing and sterile. But Sweden in particular seems wonderful to me, the music that comes out is so obviously influenced by it's skewed, doom laden atmosphere that comes about from having winter all the fucking time - it's cold, distant and yet always arresting makes you pay attention. And shows how much they fucking love their summer. You get this perverse winter in all Swedish music - but then blossoming moments of summer, glimmers, not full scenes just glimmers.

So I'm going there, I've decided, I'm taking a gap year for a reason. I'll take a guitar (because hopefully I won't be a musical cripple by then), some sketch pads and a couple of hundred biros; probably nothing else. And hopefully I'll come back with scrawled drawings, writings and a fuck ton of inspiration. Hopefully. Or you know I could come back with a moustache and herpes. Either way we cool.

Anyway exam tomorrow looks set to be a brilliant hour and a half of joyous head scratching and mild panic attacks when I can't do at least half the questions.

Like I said. Here we go.

Oh one more thing - as someone felt the need to mention Spanish boys, I feel the need to express how fucking fit Swedish girls are. Too bad they're all blonde and blonde girls make me gag. Yes I'm not always this eloquent.